Criticism in Light of the Cross

I was reading a book lately, Peacemaking for Families, which contained an article in the appendix of the book called “The Cross and Criticism”. The article, written by a pastor named Alfred Poirier, convicted me greatly of how I should receive criticism in view Christ’s sacrifice for me, and even welcome it.

Like most everyone, I don’t like to receive criticism. I don’t even like implied criticism, often taking a random statement of someone (“we’re out of ketchup”) to mean “you are a horrible wife” and then feeling defensive (“do you realize everything I have to do around here?”), guilty (“why can’t I keep everything together?”), or venomous (“well, YOU haven’t…) toward the person that gave it. Yet, it is so important in my life to be open to other people pointing out flaws in my life, whether those flaws be mild (not keeping ketchup in stock) or more serious…like being overly harsh with one of my children consistently. Unfortunately, we’ve all too often been around people who are “prickly”, whom we must walk on eggshells around, or must agree with everything they say for the sake of peace. I don’t want to be like that, but I can see it happening. How can I change?

First, this pastor prescribes looking at my sin in view of God’s judgment of me.  I am a sinner who needs a Savior. “In response to my sin, the cross has criticized and judged me more intensely, deeply, pervasively, and truly than anyone else ever could. This knowledge permits us to say to all other criticism of us: This is just a fraction of it.” This struck me deeply. Whatever “bad” anyone thinks about me or says to me can nowhere come close to the truth about how sinful I really am. If I have this perspective I can welcome criticism, glad to be shown where my sinfulness is budding and starting to grow into a horrendous weed for all to see.

Second, before I drown in a pit of despair over how horrible I am, I can agree that because of the cross of Christ, I now stand justified before God. I have His righteousness and nothing can separate me from His love (Rom. 8:32) Poirier encourages, “If you truly take this to heart, the whole world can stand against you, denounce you, or criticize you, and you will be able to reply: If God has justified me, who can condemn me?” I can take others’ ill feelings towards me because I am secure in the love of Christ.

If I nourish this perspective I can begin to walk wisely. Proverbs 12:15 says, “The way of a fool seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice.” And not only that, I can hopefully give correction with this in view and let mercy characterize the conversation.(I think my children would like that greatly.)

The clincher quote: “I do not fear man’s criticism for I have already agreed with God’s criticism. And I don’t look ultimately for man’s approval for I have gained by grace God’s approval. In fact, His love for me helps me to hear correction and criticism as a kindness, oil on my head, from my Father who loves me and said, ‘My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when He rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those He loves, and He punishes everyone He accepts as a son.’ (Heb. 12:5-6)”